I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
