You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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