Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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