just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
