Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
