it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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