Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she pinky promised me she was 18
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
