i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
