I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
