You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
