It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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