Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
