he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
