i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
