Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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