i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize