I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
