Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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