our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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