Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
