is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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