The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
