loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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