its not stalking. its research.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
