so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
