Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
