Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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