his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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