don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize