Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
