You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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