i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
