idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
