My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
