we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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