It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
