If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your cock deserves a montage
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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