ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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