You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
