My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
