after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize