I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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