i don't like sucking hair
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
