he wants to bone in the snuggie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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