I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
