dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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