I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
