Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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