...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
