Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Terrible idea I love it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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