We won't sleep together?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize