While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize