Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
