also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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