Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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