did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
