She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
