No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
