I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
