so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
