is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
